Falling in love must be one of the most surreal human experiences. That racing heart, sweaty palms, pointless giggles, focused attention on another person and an increased ability to recognise the finest detail of the lucky recipient of your affection. It feels like you’re floating in a bubble of excitement and happiness and all you have to show for it is a sheepish smile stretching from ear to ear. Happy times indeed!!
Research has shown that the chemistry behind the initial phase of falling in love, might very well be explained by the release of certain chemicals such as dopamine, testosterone, norepinephrine and PEA (phenylethylamine) in the brain. The study of Pairomics (your choice of romantic partner on a genetic level) strongly suggests that your genes also play an important role when falling in love.
Thankfully this clearly shows that there’s a biological reason for newly-found lovebird’s giddiness and silly behaviour… which the rest of us (if we have to be completely honest) remember all too well and envy so much. So, if we can explain the wondrous act of FALLING in love, can the same be said for STAYING in love?
I have always been of the opinion that love should be perceived as a verb and not just an emotion. When you LOVE a significant other, it should not only be about sweet nothings being whispered in each other’s ears. Really LOVING someone should mean that you make a conscious decision to support the other person and care for them to the best of your ability. Love should be MORE than just words.
When considering how to LOVE your partner, identifying his/her individual preferences and needs will guide you to make the right choices when choosing LOVE ACTIONS. At Sensory Intelligence® Consulting, we approach individual needs according to a person’s sensory profile. We all react to our environments according to our inborn sensory thresholds:
People with HIGH THRESHOLDS:
- Need extra sensory input to function optimally
- The appear busy, “on-the-go”, energetic and spontaneous
LOVE ACTION IDEAS:
- Ask various questions about their day when they get home
- Take them on surprise dates, to new places
- Give lots of physical affection on a regular basis
- Take them out for a night on the town
- Go to cooking classes together at the hip, new venue in town
- Go to the gym or do adventurous activities together
- Arrange regular visits with large groups of friends
- Don’t leave them alone too long… they enjoy things happening around them
People with MEDIUM THRESHOLDS
- Easily cope with sensory input from their environment
- They appear calm, productive, even-tempered and flexible
LOVE ACTION IDEAS
- Ask a few questions about their day when they get home
- Takes them on scheduled, as well as surprise dates
- Give physical affection from time-to-time
- Take them to the movies or music show
- Go to cooking classes in a smaller group at any venue
- Join them in sport activities of their choice
- Arrange visits with good friends as well as one-on-one time spent together
- They need both together- and alone time
People with LOW THRESHOLDS
- Need less sensory input to function optimally
- They appear structured, organised, in control and reliable
LOVE ACTION IDEAS
- Give them a few minutes to unwind when they get home
- Discuss scheduled dates ahead of time
- When giving physical affection, use deep pressure
- Rent a movie to watch at home or invite a couple for dinner
- Go to couple cooking classes at a familiar venue or at home
- Give them time to enjoy individual sport e.g. golf
- Arrange occasional visits with a small group of friends as well as lots of one-on-one time
- They need enough alone time to unwind and regroup
There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION!
With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!
I bet you and your significant other can fall in love all over again, by understanding each other a bit better. Why don’t you both complete our online free Sensory Quiz or our comprehensive Sensory Matrix™. Take the leap… it’s worth the effort!!!
Written by Marieta du Toit, a qualified Occupational Therapist with an interest in sensory integration, neurology and human behaviour in the modern world. She is based in St Francis Bay, where she manages her school-based practice dealing with children, parents, teachers, principals and health profession colleagues. Marieta is a regular blogger and is our Eastern Cape Events Co-ordinator.